My Testimony (How I came to Christ)

Everyone has a story or a bunch of events that led up to them coming to Christ. If you also have a testimony of how you came to the Lord yourself, by all means type it up or display it for the glory of God.

My testimony starts with a series of miracles that also inspire my prayers to this day. I remember from when I was a baby, my family got in a horrible car accident and I ended up being the only one untouched. I was scooped up into arms of a nun and I guess she prayed protection over me. Everytime I hear that story, I knew that God had a plan for me. During the 3rd grade me and my class prayed the prayer of salvation. It helped to give me awareness of Jesus Christ, but still I nonetheless felt that I needed to go deeper. There was still something deeper I needed to do. Just saying Jesus is Lord or praying with a dozen other people didn't really connect me tight with the Lord. I needed to journey to Him on my own...


Junior Year

By the time I was 17 I was enrolled in one of the most difficult high schools in all of Newark. If you wanted an idea of how rough it was: I'd say if you pictured my school at face value as one of those inner city ghetto schools, then you'd be dead wrong. However if you imagined the level of work given at my school as being more strenuous than those of the best schools in suburbia...well then you are getting a good idea of what it was like for me. Plus having constantly disgusted parents and classmates who were mostly jerks didn't help things either. In other words, if you were an “A” student at your old high school and you got enrolled in mine, well then you'd be at the level of an average “C” student. Usually the reports that I got back from this school read something like, “your child is failing in *insert name of ultra difficult class here*” or “your child is in danger of being sent back to his district high school”. However sometimes the school was more straight forward and they'd just put a “D” or an “F” on my report card.

Probably one of the worst things about my Junior year at high school was that we were given 2 hours of science class, which everyone was failing at. Let me put it this way, you were not meant to get anything above a C in this chemistry class. And as fate would have it, no one ever did! That wasn't a joke either. The thing is, not just me, but all of my classmates who ever took these classes were failing. So if I ever failed, went to my district school, or had my plans for college ruined, then I would certainly NOT have been alone. But my situation was worse, because I was also failing my Algebra II class as well. Oh yeah---and the algebra 2 class was also at an advanced level similar to the science classes. Because the chemistry class counted as 2 classes, for we had 2 hours of it everyday, the other class would have to be paid for if I ever went to summer school. And my family did not have the money for it.

So there I am sitting with this ever churning knot inside of my stomach that got tighter everyday. I knew that if I failed these two classes I would have been kicked out of this school and my future academics and the such would be kicked out with it. Worst of all it was during the closing of the school year...just to make things worse. One day while I was sitting in homeroom the teacher started passing out cards to everyone. What this card was, was a summer school assignment card. In other words, in order to attend summer school after you failed a class, you had to display this card with you. And on it, it had my name written as clean as day.

Again so there I was, with this ever looming threat of ruin and this churning knot in my stomach. Then I go, “You know what, this year I've had my heart broken, rejected, double-crossed, never given any respect, and been called a failure. But you know what, I'm not going to say die. I'm going fight and this time I'm going to pray harder than ever before. I'm going to ask God to come in and help me. And this time I'm going to have lots of faith.”

So thus began the start of one of the most amazing comebacks I've ever had. The main key of it all was to pray to God and have faith that He will do it. Because if someone prays and doubts God, then how will the miracle occur? Remember when Peter went to meet Jesus outside of the boat. The minute Peter started losing faith that Jesus could hold him above the water, he started to sink. I took that story into account and made sure that I had plenty of faith in God that He would show me through. Keep in mind people that this was before I officially became a Christian. At this time I didn't know much about the Bible at all. I didn't even know Moses from Muhammad from Buddha. But the one thing I did know was that God was all powerful and that Jesus was His Son. That was the one guiding light to me.

Now I was praying all the time during my Junior year at High School but I'm sure God wanted to see a testament of the faith with it. One day in my room I was looking at the summer school assignment card. I knew that if anything happened to that card that I wouldn't be able to attend summer school and that would add the worst implications to my current situation. Who knows? If a person were to lose that summer school assignment card they'd probably be thrown in the same grade of their district school all over again. Yet what I did to this card as a testament of my faith in God was what anyone would call crazy---I tore it up. I tore the summer school assignment card up and I threw it in the trash! Because I knew that with my prayer and my faith in God that summer school or any academic failure was NOT my destiny.

Now do you guys remember when I mentioned how I wasn't the only person in danger of failing Chemistry? That a majority of my classmates were also going to join me in academic ruin? Well I also began to pray for them too. It was interesting as it was at a time when I was just learning about intercession for others. Thus my prayer sounded something like, “Dear God help me pass these two classes I'm failing in. And if you have time please help out my friends who are also failing Chemistry as well.” That was about the best I could pray back in those days.

As another long boring day in class rolled to an end, I heard my friend Hector cheering and hooting about something. He seemed unusually jubilant for your average Junior at Science High. He then explained to me: “Mr. Gray just curbed everyone's grade in Chemistry class! We're all gonna pass!” Needless to say once I heard that, I started cheering and hooting---actually I think it was more on the grounds of an American “Alriiiiight!!!” or a “Yeaaaaahhh!!!”, but you get the picture.

Now all I had left to battle was my Algebra II class. But God handled that as well. He sent someone to help me and I ended up getting through that class too. I passed two huge juggernauts with the help of the Lord almighty. Before I knew it, I was scot free.

I believed in the Lord and the Lord believed in me. Never throughout high school did I ever have a better friend, father-figure, helper, or supporter greater than the Lord. It was after this great victory in my 11th grade Junior year of High School, that I decided I would want to find out more about Jesus Christ. These events eventually led me to my finding Him in my Senior year. I see that year as a corner stone to my life because of the spiritual glory I saw with God.


Senior Year. The Greatest Year

I remember the day before my Senior year at high school started, I went to sleep totally trusting God with what will happen the coming year. I had this gut feeling that He had planned many wonderful things for me in the coming year. And I trusted His plan for me, whatever it was to be. For the first time in my life I was finally was seeing what it was like to be totally at the mercy of God. I fell asleep not trusting in the bed under me to hold me up, nor that the roof above my head will shelter me. But that God almighty had me shielded in His hands.

I remember early in the school year I used to sleep with a devotional field handbook that used to belong to my brother from the Marines. It had prayers in it and to me those prayers looked very sacred. Then I dusted off a New Testament Bible I received a few years earlier and I started reading it. I was totally amazed. You see I believed in Jesus and I believed that He got crucified and then rose from the grave, but when I read the New Testament fully for the first time, it blew me away. Everything about Jesus Christ and His life was so holy, perfect, and full of wisdom. The way He spoke to people was so fearless and omnipotent that I wished I knew about Him more earlier in my life. To sum it all up; reading the words of Jesus Christ and His commandments made me believe that this was the Son of God and there was no other Messiah around the world like Him.

Now you have to keep in mind, I grew up listening to adults and media pundits who did everything but accept Jesus Christ as the Lord. I used to hear these people tell me of their own version of a made up gospel. They used to tell me stuff like Jesus never died, that everyone worshiped the same god, that as long as you believe in a high authority you're ok, that I had to love my parents over God Himself, that I was too young to worry about this stuff, that another guy had better answers. Let me state this plainly for everyone: When I finally saw the truth of Jesus Christ, I realized all that other stuff those people told me was garbage. These adults and TV stars were just full of garbage and they didn't know the truth of the Lord from a can of a paint. All this time they were just giving their opinions. However the Lord was giving me the TRUTH!

Let me tell you about truth for a moment. It is a constant. It doesn't bend or yield for anyone. Truth doesn't compromise or try to pretty itself up because it's current appearance isn't too fancy looking. Truth can be beautiful or ugly. But it's still going to be truth. You cannot make truth by believing in a bunch of lies hard enough. Truth will always reveal itself one day. God spoke truth in existence and God will always tell the truth. Truth is what God revealed to me when I came to Christ. That one truth He showed me was that Jesus Christ was & is Lord.

Back to the story: As I said before, the Bible was the most amazing book I ever read. What made it so special was that it's author, God, was even more amazing. Then it dawned on me that year. I said: “If God loves the spreading of His Word and the Gospel, why don't I do it on a large scale?” This led to me typing nearly the entire New Testament. I typed it and put it painstakingly in HTML format as a website. What I wanted to do originally was to upload the New Testament online so that others can come to Christ. I actually thought that I was going to be the first person in the world to upload the Bible online. Well as the good Lord would have it, there were actually plenty of online Bibles that were organized much much better than the one I was typing in HTML. Remember guys this was 2000, the puberty years of the internet, so everything was still growing online. Even though the plans of uploading it online didn't fall through, I saw a great purpose in showing others the truth of Jesus Christ. Purpose where I wasn't out to just see the Lord's glory but to also show other people to His glory as well. I'm going to tell you what this means in the final part of my testimony.

As I walked hand in hand with God my Senior year I overcame many things I never thought possible before. The Holy Spirit gave me fearlessness over fears I had in the past. Pretty soon things that troubled me before became meager things in my eyes. However the greatest thing I noticed when I walked with Christ was how I overcame sin in my life. Apparently the formula for overcoming sin is actually not focusing on struggling against it, but focusing your eyes on Christ (this was the key I followed when I was 18 but didn't fully realize until I was 27). When I kept my eyes focused on Christ everytime I was typing the Bible, I didn't care for sin at all. Eventually I didn't even watch much TV programming at the time because most my time at home was consumed with typing the Bible. Know that when I was doing these things and spending time in the Lord's presence, I never felt better. It felt better to walk with God than to walk with the world. There were no insecurities with God as there was with the world. As a matter of fact I have the exact day I fully came to Christ written in my old green Bible. It was May 30th 2000. There was historical significance of that day as well. Joan of Arc for example was burned at the stake on that date in history. This kind of explains why I have such an interest in her.



This was my first Bible. A small green pocket version that had the New Testament, Psalms and Proverbs. I remember when I used to type from it, I had to tape one part of it open and then squint my eyes to type from the small letter print. On one of the pages there was a space where you wrote your name and when you finally accepted Jesus Christ as savior. In which case I signed AJ Yaylaci on May 30th 2000.


As my spirit grew in strength my body also followed. I began to grow an ever increasing barrel chest and faster form. I was pushing all my physical endurance to the limit. Most of all I saw an urge to help people out more. I became more charitable and would even take some time to volunteer at the church during my lunch period. I'm not saying things were without hardships, but they all payed off in the end.

This year like the previous one was also challenging. No longer was the looming threat of being kicked out of school in place. This time the threat of not graduating or walking during graduation was the ever present failure at the door. The problematic class was trigonometry. What happened in this class was much more difficult to overcome than what happened in Junior year. The reason was that I was failing so bad in this class that I had to get at least a “B” in both the final semester and on the Final in order to pass. This was a feat beyond anything I've ever done in my career in High School. In Junior year I only needed to pass by the skin of my teeth, but here I actually needed to go above and beyond. Getting a high grade in a class like this was something I never did before. Yeah I got A's and B's in other classes, but this class was my trouble point.

It was time to go to work. My awareness of God was at it's strongest point at the time. I knew that I was going to show even more faith than before, but also I was going to work. Faith and Works go hand and hand. It was time to show the Lord that I was serious about passing and making it. The plan was simple, I was going to work all I could and the Lord would handle the rest. Don't just sit there and wait for a miracle, reach out for them. This is exactly what I did. I went for meetings with my teacher, I studied on my own, I worked my best to understand some of the material that was foreign to me. I worked, but I also believed and God saw it. You must remember that the highest grade I got in that class so far was a “D” and I had to work for at least two “B” grades. So if you're going through the same thing, don't just curl up in a ball and make the Lord do everything. God gave you power too, and He wants to see your faith and works going hand in hand.

Now the Lord had an interesting conclusion to my Senior year ordeal. Somewhere along the lines I felt something tell me “You will fail, but if you continue to have faith despite what man tells you, then you will pass amazingly”. Right then I knew that God was about to set me up for the most legendary comeback and success story of my life.

Alas the end of the school year came around. As I was walking through the hall during my lunch period my counselor came up to me. Her face was down trodden and sad. She said “Joe, you know you failed trigonometry? When you're father finds out he's going to have a fit.” I responded to her: “I didn't fail, just hold them off. Trust me.” She said: “But the grades already went in, this is final.” I continued to tell her: “It's not the end, you have to listen to me. I don't know what it is, but I didn't fail yet.” I walked away telling myself, it's not over. God's still working.

Following my talk with her, I went off to a private place where I could pray. I still needed to tell God that I trusted Him. The only private place I could find was a stall in the bathroom. So there on that bathroom floor, I dropped to one knee. I looked up and told God: “Lord I still believe in you and your power. I know it's not over yet, and You still have a miracle working out”. You see the books and school records said I failed, but God said it wasn't over yet. Of course Satan tried to tempt me at this time. I guess he thought I was about to give up so he tried to tell me: “Just give up. Yeah you might lose your faith but then again you can just go back to sinning and indulging in vice again”. Obviously I just shut the door in his face and continued believing in the Lord.

I continued to go to my trigonometry teacher and pursue the grade I was supposed to get. I continued working and I continued believing. About a week later I was helping my counselor move books to the upper level. That's when I was approached by my trigonometry teacher. She pointed at me and said: “look at what you accomplished! You got a 'B' for the cycle and a 'B' of the final exam!” My counselor looked at me with amazement and over whelming joy. I simply smiled because I already knew who planned this and who had it handled...My King in Heaven. Okay, actually in all due honesty, the moment I got to a room that was private; I did that mid-air dramatic victory jump ala Flash Gordon and went: “YEAAAHHH!!!” all over again.

However this wasn't the end of all the glory that the Lord showed me that year. The more you stick closer to God, the more glory He shines on you. That year I had to wear my suit much more often because God was giving me award after award. I received several awards of excellence and success from my precollege program at Essex County. Afterward I received another 2 awards from my High School. The one I liked the best was a physical education award, because like I mentioned before, if people didn't see me doing school work, chances are they saw me doing some sort of exercising or heavy lifting. I made sure to let people know why I got the award too. When it was presented to me I actually started jogging down the isle towards the stage in my suit and tie! But the final award I received during that year kind of surprised me. It was a “Service Learning Award” or an award given to someone who helped in charity a lot. I was one of only 3 students who got that one. I used to volunteer at the nearby Church, St. John's, to help out when I had break time during classes, but I never let anyone really see me. I also never really told anyone that I do this stuff either. For I remember what the Lord said about charity work. Jesus told us that when you do charitable acts of kindness to not let it be seen before men for vain praise. But God showed me that time, that even though I didn't do those things for the praise of men, that God still saw those times I volunteered. He showed me that even though I tried to keep it secret and not announce it on a horn, it still was seen and loved by God.

I will never forget that year and what the Lord showed me. It will always serve as a testament of why I see the Lord as the only glory left in the world. Everything He touches turns to gold.


Modern day implications to life?

Everytime we read the Bible or hear someone's testimony of the Lord, it's almost as if God is trying to also show us some implications or examples for today. For example when I used to read the story of how Jesus Christ spoke about the wicked and perverse generation from His time, I think to myself: “Maybe He's also referring to how Godless this modern generation acts as well?”. This is why when I look back at the miracles God showed me in High School, I realize why I shouldn't stop today. If God can keep me rolling back then, then He can keep me rolling now whenever I had trouble.

Thus I started thinking. If God would answer my prayer so that all my friend would pass Chemistry during Junior year, then why wouldn't God help me with my friends in these last days? I'm sure we all know some family or friends who don't know Christ yet. I'm sure we also know many Christians who might have back-slided into the world. So when I look back at how God answered by prayers for my friends in my Junior year class, I try to apply the same lesson learned there for my family and friends during these final days. So now I openly pray that God turn the hearts of all my family and friends toward Christ and that they be saved by the Lord. Of course the situation now is much more dire than anything I prayed for when I was 17. Now I'm praying that God save them from spiritual destruction rather than just academic failure. You people reading this should do the same too. Pray for all your family and friends so that they know Christ and that Christ turns their hearts to God. Just like all my Junior Year class friends got saved because God heard my prayers, I also believe that all our friends and family can be saved in the arms of God from judgment.

The same goes for the lessons I also learned from Senior Year of High School. In Senior year God placed in my heart the pleasure to show others the glory of God. This was evident when I used to type my little Bible when I was 18 so I can show others on the internet. Now God has increased my strength and will to show others His glory. For example, if you were to look on my Myspace page, you will see I have over a dozen download links to Bibles in multiple languages. Now I also do these writings you see all the time to tell others and make testimony to the glory of God and His truth. So what God taught me in training before, I am now doing it in more increase today.

Finally there is also the spiritual power that God taught me during Senior year. He taught me back then that with Him all is possible. When man says you have failed, don't listen to man but hold fast to God and overcome in Jesus Christ. So when man these days say that you have cancer and we can't cure you, hold fast to God and overcome in Jesus Christ. When man says, “Christ won't come back”, hold fast to God and wait for the Lord to appear from the clouds in glory. When the devil says “just face it, you can't stop this addiction and you will be in hell with me”, shut the door on his face and stay focused on Jesus Christ. Just like I proved them wrong who said I would fail when I was 18, let's prove them wrong during these times and overcome our addictions, overcome our doubts, lift our loved ones to Christ, and bring glory unto God. As God crowned me with awards and success when I finished my Senior Year in High School, God will crown us with His glorious Kingdom when we endure till the end!

So my friends do not the forget the things God delivered you out of from the past. They can have many implications and set examples for you in the present and future! In a way you can say those hardships and faith that God showed me when I was 17 & 18 was just training for the spiritual combat that I will have to face today in my later 20s.

Am I doing this for God or for eternal safety?

For what reason am I following the Lord? For what reason are we following the Lord? Immediately in everyone's mind there pops up two reasons: “For the love and glory of God” or “so I don't go to hell”. I asked myself this very question and I thought on it. Ask yourself this question as well. For a person who is just doing things for their eternal survival doesn't look like someone who really loves God. In the end they aren't doing things just for the love and respect of the Lord but they are just actually doing it for themselves. Sometimes deep inside they appear to actually like the worldly lusts but is just afraid of going to hell for them. Jesus Christ said “whoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it, but he who shall lose his life for My sake shall find it everlasting”.

When I pondered about the question I looked into my life. I remembered both walking closely in the world and then walking closely with God. And then I asked myself; “Who would I rather be glorious in?”. Immediately the answer was God. I might have been a combination of God's wisdom showing me what the world was like or me seeing the world firsthand, but I knew who I'd rather be rich in.


What about the World?

Let's tally it all up for a minute, when we were in the world and indulging in the evils of it, what did it bring us? For most of us, it was just a bunch of quick fixes that ended up making us feel trapped in something. This is called “the Pleasures of the World”. We would do these evils for the urge but then we felt this ever tightening nose around our neck that binded us to that evil. Remember how miserable we felt those days waking up or those nights at home. When problems arose, all we had was that quick fix which wouldn't solve anything except bring us deeper in despair. Then came the torture of the inevitable. There came the knowledge that no matter how much we indulged in this sin, to help us forget our troubles, the eventual troubles wouldn't go away. It was like squeezing water from a rock. It's almost as if we would cling to our sin, thinking it would save us from our trouble, when in reality it only held us in place while our trouble came to crush us. During our walk with the world and the pleasures thereof, all we got as a result was anxiety, panic, and depression. The world was really like a trip to Vegas. You came in happy, confident and couldn't wait to indulge in it. But by the time you left, you were tired, lost, and broke!

Then there are some of us who used to have the world's wealth or “the Riches of the World”. Some of us had mounds of money, but eventually that money came to own us instead. We had to work so hard for it, we had to trick our way to it, or we had to put aside everything for the making of it. There were some who couldn't spend time with their loved ones because they were always in and out trying to get the cash. Worst of all there were some of us who got the money illegally. When we did illegal acts to get the money we lost our soul to being evil men who hated God and his fellow man for the sake of riches. We became filthy rich (that pun was very much intended). Most of all, we missed out on the beauty God wanted to show us, because we were worshiping our money instead. Pretty soon the means we got the money, whether legally or illegally, dominated our thinking and our lives. We no longer cared about family and friends. We only cared about how to get our next bundle of cash and then how to keep our bundle of cash. Our eyes were fixated on our money like a magnet. Thus money became the god of our lives. The riches of the world enslaved us just like the pleasures of the world did. And like the pleasures of the world, the riches of the world offered it's own anxieties. So if the person who worshiped their fortune, were to suddenly lose it, they would also sink into despair. Once you got it, you had to worry about keeping it too. So everyone remember when you harvested in the world which fades away. Remember how it gave you back nothing in the end, and how it didn't save you from anything. Having everything...yet we are poor. That is what it's like to be of the world. When you are in the world, there is only one place to go...and that's down.

Still don't believe me? Let's look at some prominent people in the world, then apply some of the stuff I mentioned above to their life. Look at some celebrities for example. They make millions of dollars and have plenty of fame, but what goes on behind the scenes from stuff we don't see. Britney Spears is rich, she owns mansions, she has lots of fans, but look at how the world is treating her in the end. She can't breath without someone flashing pictures of her even in privacy. The entire news sticks in her private matters between her husband and family. People out for a buck take advantage of her and take pictures of her in bad situations. Now everyone is calling her crazy because she sometimes wants to break down from all the stresses that chain her down. Look at some political leaders. Yeah they hold a lot of power in the world, yet what is their life really like in secret? They all have to be apart of dark fraternities that make their entire lives devoted to the orders of underground institutions. If they don't comply, they get killed off or have their name slandered. And when they are forced to do something that they didn't want to do, they get blamed by the entire population. However these are just examples of even the greatest amongst the world still gets everything taken from them. The world gives nothing freely, it only takes everything from you in the end.


God however was always good

Now let's take a look at God. When we came to God most of us were broken from the world. We saw how the world left us with nothing but addictions, debts, anger, betrayal and everything else under the sun. At that moment we came to God remember how it felt as if a warm blanket was thrown over you while you were freezing cold.

That day we came unto the Lord, we felt great! For the first time all of our troubles blew away with the wind. We knew that no matter how shaky this world was going to get, God was always going to shield us from it. For the first time, we actually had a friend who would listen to and understand everything that we couldn't talk about with others! This is what God was to us. He was the ultimate friend, protector, lover, champion, helper, strengthener, and listener. It was amazing. Finding Lord Jesus Christ was beyond our most fantastic dreams. And even still, the Lord had more and more to show us! To the person reading this, didn't you feel it too with Jesus Christ? You know you did!

Do you recollect, my friend, how when we came to Jesus Christ and challenged the previously unchallengeable? I know that when Christ placed the Holy Spirit in me, I overcame and challenged everything that feared me in the past. I saw strength build inside of me that I never seen before. I was stronger, better, and bolder. All of this came from God. It was His Spirit that nurtured me and allowed me to buckle chains of steel.

The Lord likened His kingdom to a mustard seed that grew. When you first came to Christ my friend that seed was just in sprout. When His time comes, it will be as a fully grown tree. So if you and me rejoiced when we saw this tree just in sprout, imagine when we see it become a tree (The full Kingdom of Heaven). Meditate on this my friends.

Imagine those knight and barbarian posters from the 80s. They usually depicted this muscular triumphant warrior standing on a mountain peak with his sword raised on high. While his sword was raised up, bolts of lighting would strike it and empower it from the heavens. This is what it is like to be in the Lord. This is what I felt when I was in the Lord; utter empowerment---fearlessness where there was once fear. These are improvements the world has never given us. The Lord supplied you with spiritual armor to stand against the devils tricks, but the world never gave you any such protection. If we turn our back on the Lord, we turn our back on the most beautiful glorious thing we will ever bear witness to.

Another thing that came to me is that the Lord's kingdom, both the 1000 year and New Jerusalem, is how life is supposed to be like. What we live in now is the world's alternative life filled with war, hatred and perversity. But you can only wonder what will it be like in the Lord's Kingdom when you see things for what they should be like. Obviously things of God will be greater than things of the world. And also will mentalities pleasing to God be more superior than mentalities of the world. Meditate on this....

If ever any of you feel like going back into the world, I want you to remember how enslaved you felt before. Remember how its pleasures only made you feel a high for a minute and then dragged you down into pain and hell. Also remember how much glory the Lord showed you when you first came to Him and how much more He wants to share with you.

What we do for Jesus Christ and His glory will be the part of us that lasts eternally. Everything of the world won't go on for long. But God who is eternal and the things of His glory thereof will last beyond time. That is the part of us that will go on for eternity; the Christ with us. Let us rejoice with this news. Let us be happy that all that glory, safety, strength, love and peace you felt when you came to Him will last permanently. And that all those beautiful things which God is, shall always be eternal. Now the next time you ask yourself the question “Am I doing this for God's glory or for my own eternal safety?”, I want you to look back and remember your walk with both. Most of all remember which one was the one who actually saved you. So answer it truthfully and don't just say it thinking you can fool the Lord. Let your works reflect the one you really love. God is not a child who can be fooled with an empty shell. God bless you and keep you.

You were born to display the Lord's Glory

In my upcoming testimony I briefly talk about how I survived, untouched, a horrible accident when I was a baby. Well recently I read several messages from the Lord which talked about how difficult it was to enter into His kingdom. Further more I read closely how there are only 2 ways to go....up or down. The Lord said it plainly that not everyone who will cry “Lord, Lord” will enter into the Kingdom. He will tell many in the day “Go away, I never knew you.” My heart broke hearing these things. I felt that I didn't have what it took to be one of the Lord's true children. And even if I was, what about my friends and family who did not yet know Christ? Even though this was during a time when I was eradicating all strongholds of sin from my life, I still sank into a deep sorrow. I wondered what if my deepest nightmare actually was going to happen. What if Christ said to me to depart from Him because I was with blemish? What if I never really knew Him because I don't hear Him talking to me as He talked to Moses or the other prophets? This makes me extremely uncomfortable to discuss and it churns me inside to even think about. And now that we are heading into the year of judgment it all seems like it's all or nothing.

Needless to say there were times when I would go to sleep totally broken, demoralized, hurt and depressed over the news. I would find myself saying “Why couldn't I have just died as a baby?!” or “I just wish I wasn't born at all”. I thought if I was going to go to hell because I wasn't a saint, then why couldn't I have just died in that accident which I survived as a baby.

That's when the Lord revealed to me that I was born to glorify His name. He put me and you on this dark world for a mission. We have a duty to Him. The path is narrow and there are few who find it, but to those who find the narrow path, they have a mission from the Lord. We don't realize how important we are. The Lord said in His book “You didn't chose me, I chose you.” God chose me and He chose you for something special. This world is deceived by the enemy and itself and the Lord needs shining lights to show this dark world the truth. That's where us, the elect come in. Jesus Christ dictated that the harvest is plenty but the harvesters are very few. He was foretelling us about the great gathering we need to do for the kingdom of Heaven.

If you were destined for hell then the Lord would have never selected you in the first place! You chosen to be an ambassador of the Lord's Kingdom before you were even born! So there is no time to curl up in a ball and wonder if we are going to be thrown into hell. There are people out there who don't know the Lord yet and we have to intercede for them. We have to spread the truth and stand in the gap for those who don't know the Lord yet. We have to petition for the Lord to turn back those who have back-slided. The Lord set you up as a light to the world---a lampstand of sorts. The world may not read a Bible, but they will read you. They will see you and you will be a testament for the Kingdom of Heaven. Thus make your works reflective of the Lord's domain. We are in this fight not just for ourselves but for our friends and family, and yea even strangers. When we make ourselves pure and a living sacrifice unto God, He sees us as a reason to shed mercy on others around us. When we intercede and pray that God turns the hearts of our friends and family who do not know Christ, God starts to take action on it. So when we start praying or fasting or interceding on someone's behalf, the Lord sees it and sheds mercy on the people we pray for. Think for a minute...what if that person you are interceding or praying for is your wife or girlfriend who never knew Christ. Or maybe that person you are praying for is your parents who were atheists or a friend who is a satanist. God said if he found 10 righteous men in Sodom and Gomorrah He would have spared the entire city.

No one lights a lamp and hides it in a jar or puts it under a bed. Instead,
he puts it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light.
Luke 8:16

Now I'm not saying that we can give salvation, because only the Holy Spirit can save people or turn their hearts unto the Lord. But we can pray that God saves people, we can intercede on their behalf, we can ask the Lord to turn their heart, and we can tell them about Jesus Christ. Now since the Lord chose you to be His servant of heaven, you have to bear fruit. The brethren bear fruit in a variety of ways. I used to think that the only way to bear fruit was by street preaching or being a missionary in another country. But the Lord showed me there was a variety of ways I could display the glory of the Lord to others around me. Just talking about Him or sharing the Lord with others is a great way to bear fruit. Recently I signed up for Xanga, Livejournal, and Bloggers because I had many writings about the Lord that I wanted to share with people. You guys out there can do the same thing. Read and talk about a scripture and how it helped you in your life. Post your testimony of how you came to Jesus Christ. You will find that many times your testimony can serve as encouragement to others who are coming to Christ. For all of you brethren who have video cameras, you can upload your testimony to youtube or other video sites where people can watch you confess the Lord before them! Jesus also said, “He who confesses me before man, I will also confess before my Father and the angels.”

So you and I have much fruit to bear for the Lord. With the technology we have today, we have more opportunities to glorify God than ever before. And as we bear fruit and bring glory to God before men, then we will see how we are in fact chosen by God. A lot of people are counting on you and me. The Lord is counting on you to do His will. Your friends and family who don't know Christ are counting on you to pray for them. Don't let them all down. There is no time to start feeling sorry for ourselves. We HAVE to fight this fight!

"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit" (John 15:16).

Why is God willing to do all that work for just 1 guy?

Why is God, who is so grand and magnificent, want to get into a relationship with a common man? Why is God, who is so perfect, un-defiled and pure, want to be punished for the crimes of a man who is filthy with evils. And lastly why is God so happy when just one man repents of his evils and turns away from his crimes to pursue God?

Well God is a consuming fire. He is all powerful, almighty, invincible and the only self-sustaining being anywhere. The palm of his hand expands the very size of the Universe itself. He knows what goes on every second, in every place, of every year of history. But one thing is also well known to be is a loving and forgiving God. I want everyone to know that the same God which made all things created, and who's very name all the demons in hell are scared to transgress against, is the same God who sacrificed Himself(the Son) for our sake.

Let me share with you all something strange that happened to me while walking on South Orange Avenue in Newark. I noticed there were a bunch of wholesome well dressed people walking in a group around the more rundown area of Newark. It seemed odd to me because they looked more like they were from Idaho or Wyoming, rather than the inner city of New Jersey. When I went to passed by them one of them came up and offered me a pamphlet. They said that they were part of a Christian group who was inviting people to come for a worship service they were having. I was going to be off from work for the next few days and I decided to go check it out with them.

As night drove on I finally found the place in a few towns over. At first I thought I was either too late or had the wrong building because I realized that I was the only one there. So as I waited, I saw their van pull up full of those people who were passing out the fliers earlier in my city. As I looked at them while they pulled up, I saw all of them smiling at me through the window. Apparently they were happy that I showed up even though I was the only person! But I was puzzled for a moment. Why would they so happy? I mean I was the only person who showed up out of the perhaps hundreds of fliers they passed out earlier. Then I realized, they were happy that, despite the hundreds of invitations they passed out, that one person was able to make it. So to them it was all a success because they got someone to join them in worship, in celebration, in repentance, and in fellowship of the Lord. Thus it was a victory because they were able to harvest something; to bring someone away from this world and closer to God.

Jesus Christ once said in the gospels that He is like a man who loses one coin and searches vigorously for that one coin. And when He finds that one coin, He rejoices greatly over recovering it. That coin is us...it is you the individual person reading this message right now! You may have back-slided back into sin or addiction, but the Lord right now is searching vigorously for you. He's looking under all the furniture and cabinets for you and where you rolled off to. The Lord is looking for you right now so He can bring you back and rejoice that He has you again.

God knows your voice. He also knows when your voice is absent from the crowd. When the Lord hears the prayers and songs of His children, He will say, “It sounds a little different today, where are you in the crowd?” To any human being a crowd of cheers all sounds the same, but to God, He knows the sound of every single person in that crowd.

Before the doors close, Jesus Christ is calling out everyone to repent and come unto Him these last days. He won't reject you because you feel that you are too evil to come to Him. He won't reject you because you took to long to come to Him. For the Lord is like the father of the prodigal son. The prodigal son went out to live up his life and world's riches. When it was all said and done, the son was broke, poor, shattered, dirty and smelled like the pigs. He knew that he had nothing left but to return unto his father. When his father saw him come back to him, the father ran out to embrace him in joy. The father didn't care how dirty or poor his son ended up being, he was glad to have his son back. This is how the Lord looks to mankind. Just drop everything what you are doing and come into repentance and come back to the Lord right now.

God I know that I have sinned and transgressed in your eye. My Lord I pray
that you forgive me and take me back under your wing. Wash me clean in the
blood of Jesus Christ and make me a new person. Make me one of your children
again. May I follow you everyday and please be with me O'Lord for I need you
more than the very air that I breathe. I know that without you I am nothing. But
with you I can overcome anything in Christ Jesus. I thank you and love you for
your generosity and mercy, my perfect and flawless God in Heaven.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Do not trust in Man, Trust in God

Yeah I know...we live in a media controlled generation. All of us, since we were kids have idolized sports athletes, celebrities, rock stars, musicians, and even politicians. We see their face on TV or being revered by others and we suddenly give them all our ear and attention. Their being viewed as god-like and we don't even know we're doing it. Don't believe me? Ask yourself for a moment: how much time did you spend dealing with God's things today and how much time did you spend listening to 50-Cent or watching pop idols?

What's bad is that because our society is so impressionable these days, we tend to copy and mimic everything our media figures do. For example, when we see rap stars wear their clothes 10 sizes too large; then our kids start wearing their clothes 10 sizes too large. When we see models and TV shows where the star acts haughty, vain, and self-bloated; pretty soon our women start acting haughty, vain, and self bloated. When we see Ellen Degeneres and Rosie O'Donnell support gay marriage; then we end up supporting gay marriage. I remember talking to one young man who listened to a lot of satanist rock---he thought he was the dark lord of death. But it goes deeper because, as we are impressionable to the media figure's looks, we also become impressionable to the media figure's ideas. So when 60s rock stars got into the New Age movement their fans also got into the new age as well. They figured if John Lennon was getting into the spiritual guru thing, then maybe that was the cool thing to do. When celebrities of the 60s and 70s got into drugs, pretty soon their fans also got into drugs. We saw so much credibility to these media figures that we ended up following them over the cliff.

God brought us to be out of the world; not of the world. So if we follow the world's icons then what are we? We should not do things just because a pretty face on TV says it's ok and we see 70 of our friends do it as well. That's just the blind leading the blind into a ditch. We hear these media figures talk about the afterlife or how to live your lifestyles and we end up following them because it sounds appealing to our flesh. Then once we approach the end of our life we suddenly start crossing our fingers and hoping that Oprah Winfrey was right. Because we know that if Oprah was wrong and that Jesus Christ really was the only way, then we won't like where we end up after we're dead. For once let's turn off the TV and start listening to what God wants us to do. Stop watching Creflo Dollar and the other prosperity preachers and seek God out by falling to your knees and reading His commandments. Who cares what Tyra Banks says?! She won't pay your bills or heal your sick family member or get your son off of drugs. It's God who wants to really help you.

This is why I don't believe in mentoring anyone because then the person I mentor will try to fit himself in my mold. I don't want him to make himself like me. I'd rather he would fit himself into the mold of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ was the only man who was perfection. I'm dependent on Jesus Christ just like anyone else reading this is! I'm no one special. Everyone should be mentored by Jesus Christ, not by other men.

STOP LISTENING TO MAN! STOP LISTENING TO YOUR DESIRE! A man is like you, no matter how rich he is. Man doesn't know all truths. God on the other hand knows all truths. God knows exactly how many stars there are in the Universe. God will ALWAYS tell you the truth, no matter how difficult or easy it is. God tells you the truth to help you. God isn't like these media figures. God doesn't want to sugar coat things so that you can buy His records or vote for Him in the next election. LISTEN TO GOD!

And God right now is telling you that you are not a material girl as the TV told you. You are not a playboy. You are not a thug or a gangster. You are not a vampire. What you really are is one of His children. And as one of God's children, He wants you to follow Him; not the world. His Son Jesus Christ is talking, give Him ear and grow greatly. “While he yet spake, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them: and behold a voice out of the cloud, which said, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him. Matthew 17-5”


Lord the world is deceived and beguiled by their fellow man.
We foolishly put our trust in man and hope that other men
can lead us to truth. Lord it says in your commandments to
render every man a liar. God let us not put our trust in men
of any stature or status in this world. Instead show us to put
full trust in you. For how is a man no less made of dust than
the next one? You have taught us plainly, O'Lord that when
the blind lead the blind, they both fall into the ditch. God we
need true guidance in our lives. Please lead us instead of
man. For you have sight of all things. You know just how
far the east is from the west. Guide us O'Lord in every endeavor
we embark on. We believe that with your all knowing sight
you can lead us where you want us to be in greener pastures.
Let us neither rely on ourselves too. For we sometimes lie to
ourself and even cheat our own knowledge. We do not want to
lean on our own understanding, because we know that our
understanding is limited. Instead O' King of Heaven, let us
trust in your Will and your wisdom. For your will is perfect
and not like the limited wisdom of man. We may not know
everything of your will thy God, but we still trust it because it is
perfect like you are perfect. Most of all O' God of Heaven give
us wisdom and let your will be done in our lives every single day.
Let your path be the road we follow. You have told us it is in your
pleasure to give to your children. And for this we humble thank
thee for your mercy and kindness and outpouring of love and
sympathy to us all. We thank you greatly and praise your name
for these fruits.

In the name of the Son Jesus Christ, Amen.

Prefer meekness over vain pride and self-glory

Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth; so said the Lord. The Lord loves a humble heart. A heart that doesn't do deeds in order to seek glory unto itself, but rather the heart that does good for the glory of God and towards the help of others. God knows the desires of every man's heart, so there is no hiding your true motives from Him. He knows whether you do things towards His kingdom or towards your own ego.

The kingdom of heaven was described by Jesus as a mustard seed. He said the mustard seed is the smallest and perhaps the least desired of herb seeds. However Jesus Christ went on to say that the mustard seed soon grows large, vast and even becomes a tree. That mustard tree, which was once an undesirable seed soon becomes a spot that the birds of the air see as pleasing and shelter there. This is how the kingdom of heaven works. When some one sees or pursues Godliness or holiness, he is seen as meager and strange to the world. If you were to offer an average person whether to follow Christ or have a millionaire's mansion and fame, most likely he would chose the millionaire's mansion and fame. Why? Because the path of Christ is hard and full of devotion. This turns most people off, who would rather pursue their own flesh and the world. The world usually throws away the small mustard seed that is the kingdom of heaven because they only see what it is now and not what it is about to become. But look at what that little seed became! It grew into a large firm tree that housed the birds. We don't see the Kingdom of Heaven as much at the moment, but just watch when the Son returns and establishes His rule. As that small seed looked compared to what it looked like when it became a massive tree, so it will be like the Kingdom of Heaven displayed in it's glory.

This is also the destiny of you who keep His commandments and Word in your heart. For the Holy Spirit dwells in you and you will explode into greatness like that mustard seed. Even though the world saw you as meager and small, just wait till the Lord brings you up into His kingdom! My brethren, all your prayers and all your sacrifices for the Lord's sake will bloom into something glorious large and mighty. I understand a lot of you are poor and meager and sad, but when the Lord brings you to His rule, you will see much blooming. Most of which will be unlike anything you've ever saw before.

So do not pursue over things of the flesh or pleasures of this world which only last a moment. When you die will you be able to take your money, fame, filth or drugs with you? Or will they take you to hell? Things you own will end up owning you so don't put your trust into your wealth, fame, pleasure or other men. Trust instead the Lord. For God humbles the exalted and exalts the humbled. An exalted person only seeks to fill himself and seeks the temporary glory of himself. He can only fit inside of the mold he makes for himself. How can an exalted man give one measure to his stature or rescue himself from hell? On the other hand, those who pursue Christ are under constant learning and growing. They become a new creation day after day. They have a humble heart and undertake new lessons and grow in the Lord. They are held in the Lord's hands.

Give praise to the Lord for the glory He wants to share with His people. Thank Him all the time for His sacrifices and the pain He went through for us all. For Jesus Christ did not just go to the cross for Himself, but He went there to pull all of you up into glory. It was a calling for all man to repent and come unto Him. His kingdom is massive and great. It surpasses anything we've seen in this world for we are about to see the fully grown mustard tree. And the best part about it, is God wants us all there.

If you have done something evil or wrong in God's eyes or even if you do not know the Lord yet, come right now and fall on your face. Ask for the Lord to come into your heart. Know Him right now where you are standing or sitting. God is calling you right this moment. He wants you to visit Him in His coming kingdom. He wants you to see all that glory in full bloom. He said that if you ask, you will be given for it is in His good pleasure to give to His children. I know you are saying “but I don't deserve this” or “but I'm not good enough”, my friends none of us were good enough or deserve His glory. We naturally didn't earn Heaven or deserve anything from Heaven. It is only because of the sacrifice of Lord Jesus that we have any opportunity now.

When the Lord traveled the earth and met everyone stricken with disease or demons, did He turn them away? NO, He welcomed them in His arms and healed them. So don't feel ashamed or think that Christ will reject you because you think you are too evil or that you waited too long to come to Him. He wants you with Him as we speak. My friends, get your name in that book of life so you can see Him in His glory.

Christ is the good shepherd and the good shepherd cares for His flock. His flock hearken to His voice. Hearken to His voice right now; repent and come to Him.

Reproval and correction is a good thing

Please by all means, if the Holy Spirit tells me I need improvement or that I was wrong in doing something, it would be a blessing to hear it. Being reproved or being corrected in something I did wrong can only be beneficial to me. And this is what the Lord usually does to His sons and children; He reproves and corrects them. God's perfect will calls for all men to come into repentance. He wants all men to say their sorry and turn away from their evil. God doesn't want all men to fall into hell, even though this is what we deserve. So feel blessed when the Lord tells you: “What you are doing is wrong and you need to do it correctly”. For if you were not His son or daughter, then He would just let you keep sinning or doing wrong.

Sometimes we shut the gift of being reproved out because of a variety of reasons. Sometimes we reject correction because we think we know it all already. If we knew it all already we would be in Heaven with God right now. Other times we reject correction is because we want to keep sinning or doing wrong for the pleasure it gives. I don't even need to explain how destructive that is! And there is the ever popular occasion we reject correction; because the truth is too hard to bear. Well no matter how hard and painful the real truth is, accepting it will always help us. Finally, perhaps the worst reason to reject correction or reprove is because of arrogance. Let's face it, sometimes when we reach a certain experience level, we want to think that we are the authority on a certain thing. We sometimes like to think that nobody can know more than us. Well my friends I tell you that the only authority on all things is only God Himself. While we are living God never let's us know everything, less we start to be unmindful of Him.

Rejecting the right reprove or correction is like having a mentality of a beast. Let's say when you go in the woods and see a wild beast like a cougar, wolf or dog. What does it do when it sees you in it's territory. Does it try to reason with you or ask questions as to why you are there? No, it only attacks and perceives you as a threat. It doesn't reason with you or tries to understand why you are there. But you can't blame it because it is a beast of the field. Yet the Bible says that when we reject being reproved or corrected, we act like these very beasts of the field.

I remember when I once got into a debate with a brother in Christ about a verse. I rejected all forms of reproval and correction from him because I was sure that the doctrine I heard was the best. But I was totally lacking in spirit, which he did have. I ended up apologizing to him months later because my mouth was open, yet my ears were shut. I acted like a beast of the field there that only bites and claws and rejects wisdom. This is what the Pharisee did during the time of Jesus Christ. They were so full of doctrine and knowledge of law that they refused to accept the spirit and wisdom. They became like stone blocks. Even when Jesus tried to correct them, they rejected Him.

Most of all the best and most urgent kind of reprove is that which calls you to repent. When Jesus Christ and his disciples traveled from city to city early in their ministry, Christ called for theses cities to repent. When they did not, He said that it would be more tolerable for Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of Judgment than for them. Because they saw much, but still stubbornly wouldn't go back on what they did wrong, that would befall them. We have to understand that Jesus Christ wants the most vile city and the most corrupt person to fall on their knees and repent. The Lord Himself testified in that same chapter that the cities which did repent will RISE in the day of judgment. So those who accepted the Lord's reprove would be raised into glory despite their past. He even goes further by testifying that if Sodom and Gomorrah were to repent, they would have still been standing to this day. This is how forgiving the Lord wants to be to us. God wants everyman to fall into repentance and be corrected for their wrong. If someone were to say to me “AJ, the Holy Spirit said what you are doing is wrong and you need to repent”, this would be taken as gift from God.

Maybe God is telling us something right now. Maybe God is trying to reprove us or our nation for something as we speak. Let's analyze the news for a minute my friends...When a plane crashes in the cold Hudson river and everyone survives, we give tribute to the pilot and give none to God. Then a few months later, several other planes crash and nearly everyone dies---Maybe God is telling us something. We take the Lord's morality out of our schools and replace His prayer with teen sex and guns, then as a result we get murder and teen pregnancy---Maybe God is trying to tell us something. Perhaps God right now is calling us and our beloved nation into repentance and reprove right now. Let's think critically for a moment. God is just trying to help us when he corrects us. Let's give Him, above all, our ears.

The world will always persecute you

A servant is not greater than his master and as people deal with the master they will deal no less to the servant. Jesus Christ said that the world never knew Him. Since the world never knew Him, then it will never know us. It will hate us as it hated Him. Remember the world killed Him even when He spent His life healing, preaching, praying and restoring. These are the works of a man of love yet He was tortured and put to death. The time is coming where the same might happened to us. As a matter of fact our brothers in Christ in various places around the world are being persecuted as we speak. It's not uncommon in China and some Islamic countries. Before the defeat of the Taliban in 2003, anyone who was caught a Christian in was executed by the bullet. And they didn't care if it was a young child or an old man, they(the world) killed those people who followed Christ all the same. This goes on in China as well. Many of our brothers in Christ are forced to work in these sweat shops and their bibles go only to government sanctioned churches. What we take for granted, they don't even have in their hands. Even here in America, Christians are under attack by the secularist growth in government, the militant atheist movement, and even extreme homosexual groups. Even Janet Reno started to target serious Christian groups since the 90s. This will get worse as time goes on.

But you have to understand my friends and brethren this has gone on for centuries in one form or the other. Even after the Roman Empire adopted Christianity, it still nonetheless murdered Christians because they didn't want to follow the various semi-pagan traditions. As a result over 50 million Christians were killed. Even as the great Renaissance progressed, those Christians who refused to follow vain traditions or give indulgences to the church were arrested and persecuted. Because they kept the Lord's Word in their heart, because they knew to give to the poor, because they wanted to comfort the widow instead of the chief priest, they were ostracized. But be not surprised for Jesus forewarned us saying that men will deliver you up to the councils.

Don't worry with what the world accuses you of being. For false accusations will also be brought against you. Most likely you who trust in the Lord and follow Him will be called a “fundamentalist”. They will compare you to the crazy Jihadist terrorists all because you don't believe in things like abortion or homosexual marriage. Be pleased when they do say things like this because they said the same things about your King in Heaven. Think back when John the Baptist was living in the wilderness. When they saw him dressed in camel skin and not any fancy clothes, they thought he was some crazy berserker. He even asked them what do you expect someone calling for repentance in the wilderness to wear?---fine linen? No matter how much beauty Jesus Christ Himself brought into this ugly world, people and officials still called Him a heretic, a blasphemer, a rebel, and a threat to the empire. They gave these labels to a Man who healed both Jews and Pagans and gave the starving food!

The world will find as many excuses as possible to disregard you as well. When Jesus had dinner with sinners and apostles, His opponents started to call Him a drunkard and a fellow decadent. His opponents never bothered to see the reason why He sat with sinners, it was was because they were the ones who most need to repent and be healed. But that's the thing, the world's accusations and excuses are ridiculous. John the Baptist sat with no body and had was starving but people saw an excuse to discredit him as well, by saying he was some wacko with a demon. Likewise this is done today too. Think back to when the last time you heard a Christian tell the hard truth and he was then rebuked as being too judgmental. Think back to when such a thing happened to you. This is because the world and even some Christians like to stuff their ears. A few years after I came to Christ, I was called a persecutor of people because I didn't believe in lifestyles that the Lord said were wrong. Even my own father called me a fundamentalist at one point.

We have to understand, your home is not in the world. Your home is in God's kingdom and that is your ultimate destination. Therefore we should not bother trying to blend in with the world or foundation ourselves in it. Jesus said the world did not comprehend or accept Him and it will not do the same to you. So in that case let us not start sounding like the world, acting like the world, looking like the world, or living like the world. Don't become something you are not simply because the TV says that you should look like it. When Jesus Christ was on earth, He never concerned Himself with running for senate or becoming a general in Rome's legions. He didn't seek that kind of prestige and pride for Himself. Rather Jesus Christ sought how He could honor and bring glory to His Father in Heaven.

Don't worry about being starved or getting cast into a hole for rejecting the world either. For God said He will sustain His people. In ancient times when God brought the Hebrews out from Egypt and separated them from the world, He fed them. When they were starving, manna and quail was given to them day and night. If God's going to feed the smallest bird, then He will definitely feed us.

Sojourn on with God all our life and worry not about what men will say about you, nor what the world will try to do to you. God will be with you at all times. So when the world tries to attack you, know that they attacked the Lord Himself long before you.

We do not deserve anything except eternal destruction

My friends today I discuss something that really disturbs and hurts me a lot. The human race deserves nothing from God except hell itself. We can never be good enough to think that we have earned anything from the Lord. We can never have done enough good deeds or behaved nice enough or have gone to church enough to be saved from hell. The only reason mankind has a chance, despite our filth, to make it into the kingdom of heaven is because of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is the only one who deserves anything because He is the only one who triumphed over all without the slightest blemish. And even while He stood on earth, He never exalted Himself before His Father in Heaven. Instead He asked that His Father's will be done instead of His own. Jesus Christ was the only person in history to live without any evil inside of Him and yet still be punished for all the evils we have done.

Nothing impure or with the slightest sin can enter into the kingdom of God. Any one sin makes a person fit for only hell. We have to understand that God is a perfect being. He is flawless and it seems absurd that something filthy or dirty should be able to come into contact with something so clean. I myself am thousands of dollars in debt from college and the Lord said to owe no one the slightest farthing. So right there I deserve hell for being in so deep in debt and disobeying God. God is the very definition of what is good or holy. What man sees as good is actually just evil. And it makes sense to when you consider that God is omnipotent and knows what is best for everything---anywhere.

Even though I call myself a Christian I might still go to hell just as much as any atheist or satanist. What makes me so special? How am I any more deserving of the Lord's mercy as the guy across the street or on the other side of the world? There is no guarantee that I am destined for Heaven. Mary K. Baxter said that when she was dealt a vision of hell, she saw many Christians there. Even if the Lord promised me that I would be in His kingdom, would we really want to know? Would we really want to know so that we may prop our feet up on the desk and relax? Would we really want to know so that we show no thought or pray for people who are going to hell? I personally ask that the Lord breaks my heart and makes me fearful of Him so that I may never relax or stop showing mercy to others. I pray that I am always kept on my toes so that I may constantly reform myself and that many others join me in the Lord's kingdom. But I will not know until the day I die. Jesus Christ is the bouncer at the door and if He doesn't like the way you appear to Him, He won't let you inside His Kingdom. I can say I know Jesus Christ all I wants, but what counts in the end is if He knows me.

The only person worthy is Jesus Christ. Even though I try not to sin everyday I still manage to do that. For example before I went to type this very blog I stopped to have lunch. Right there I have sinned in the eyes of God because I sought out my own fulfillment before God's. So I don't walk the streets looking down on people going “tsk tsk that person is going to hell because he's like that or this person is going to fall because he's doing this”. I wouldn't even dare think of such a thing, because all of us are in need of Jesus Christ. Who am I to pass judgment on anyone? For I am not God nor am I totally perfect like Jesus Christ. Instead I pray that all of us make it into the Lord's kingdom. I pray that Jesus rescue us all, from all religions and peoples. I pray that people who have angered or hurt me make it into heaven all the same. And for people who have ever been kind to me then I hope their mansion in heaven is doubled when they see it. But this will only happen with Jesus Christ. All I can do as a mortal imperfect man is to pray for others.

Do any of you remember back in school when you saw that beautiful woman or handsome man? And you knew that you didn't have a chance with them because they were the most popular, the most smartest, the richest or the most athletic person in school. Well this is God. He's this all powerful being that is spotless and pure. And we are just these flawed and temporary creatures that He has made. I'm not saying this for the purpose of being humble; rather it is just pure logic. If you made a pile of mud and it asked to dwell inside your cleaned house, would you do it? No you wouldn't. But God was willing to sacrifice Himself so that these piles of mud would be clean enough to enter His house.

We are all undeserving of the white robes of Christ, that is why I thank Him and praise Him for His sacrifice where He suffered for it. Understand that those white robes He will clothe us in was brought at a very very high price. He had to bleed and agonize for them. He didn't have to do it, because He was totally perfect...yet He did. And He didn't just do it for us Christians, but He did it for every single person across the globe. I know that many people say in their heart, “oh God owes me for this” or “or God is suppose to reward me for what I did here” or “God should give me that for me being like this”. I say again, we do NOT deserve ANYTHING. The only reason we get something is because of Jesus Christ.

God will have mercy on who He wants. For some people have only one chance to repent and others have multiple. We are not to understand or to know God's master plan. But one thing are to do is to trust Him. It is good that God does not let us know His master plan or who is to be saved or not. For if we did, we may become less mindful of His glory and perfection. Let us serve God; the very source of goodness and perfection and let us feel honored by it. For the air I breath, I am grateful to God for it.

How to free yourself from the coming Global Orders and NWOs

Conspiracy theorists, anti-totalitarianism, and even some disinformation agents are getting to be very popular as the coming anti-christ's kingdom starts to take form. Many people are now flocking to these conspiracy theories, anti-globalist celebrities, and talk radio shows because they think that it will be a life raft for them all against a New World Order. Others think that they will be able to fight back if they all join hands and do their part. Yet through all their hoping and wishing in things uncertain, few of them seek any salvation with the Lord.

Through all this talk of conspiracy and globalist one world tyranny, hardly anyone remembers that it was God who foretold that these things will come about. Few people who listen to these bloggers, radio hosts, and conspiracy theorists seek what the Lord says about these things in His holy commandments. These days people rather put their trust in men and material than God Himself and this is a tragedy. As a matter of fact many conspiracy theorists, such as Jordan Maxwell, actually slander God's commandments and His Word as being written by the satanic globalists themselves. And when I hear such ridiculous claims as these, I ask who are they to bunch God with satan? What gives them such authority to blaspheme God like that and blot His Holy Name out from the truth? Just because men like that hold paper degrees in archeology, it does NOT make them anymore omnipotent or a higher human being than the rest of us. God Himself says that in His foolishness He is still wiser than man's wisdom and in God's weakness, He is still stronger than man's strength. Yet still we all flock to men with degrees instead of God for our salvation from globalist tyranny!

The very agendas these New World Orders have in their plans, God has already predicted and told us to total 100% accuracy. He says that those who come unto Him and trust in Him, He will see through and keep in times of trouble. God stated that in the time of tribulation the days will even be shorten for the sake of the elect. The problem is that we worry about what the leaders of the European Union are going to do next or what the leaders of America are going to do next or what Asia is up too. We have to understand that no nation in the world will move a hair outside of the Lord's hand. Satan himself will not be able to attack us even if he wanted to, outside of the Lord's hand. When the Lord's hand is in place, none may move outside of His Will. If this New World Order or Antichrist Kingdom was able to be in total control, then they would have set up their tyrannical dominion back in the 1980s! But it is not them who are really in power, God is in power and as long as God's hand is held out then they will not move a muscle. However God's hand is about to move out of the way and let these things come to pass. So we all as mankind should make sure we are written in His book of life. We have to make sure that we sit right with God, because if we don't then we will be at the mercy of all this wrath coming. Those who are NOT with God will be branded with the mark of the globalists and antichrist. And that awful mark will make that person their property to be tracked and not being able to buy or sell without it.

As a matter of fact a lot of the best and most revered conspiracy theorists, like Alex Jones, frequently feature secularist and New Age celebrities in their programs. People like the musician KRS1. KRS1 is a blatant New Ager and even promotes the acts of self-worship amongst his fans. My friends the tyrannical organizations such as the Illuminati and the coming New World Order openly promote the New Age religion! So it disturbs me how such a voice as Alex Jones is to feature such a New Ager like KRS1 in his documentaries. For what council does the darkness have with the light?

But this is just an example of why we need to seek out the Lord for guidance and protection against the New World Order. The Lord said He would never leave us and be with us even until the end of time. These conspiracy theorists and radio hosts are mortal. Meaning they don't and never had the power to help all of us. They don't know every step the enemy is planning. Only our Father in Heaven knows and only He has the power to look over each and every one of us.

Forget what secularists tell you as well. For the New World Order is also called the “New Secular Order”. They want to do away with God too. For God alone is true and everyman is a liar. And the secularist skeptics can sweep this under the rug, they can discredit God by stating lack of evidence, or they can even try to search for inaccuracies in the Bible, but one thing is for sure...it will never change what is. God IS, WAS, and FOREVER WILL BE our only salvation from danger. Not just globalists danger or danger from disasters but all forms of harm...even the threat of hell. And the threat of hell was defeated by---guess who---GOD IN THE FLESH!

In closing rest your cares on the Lord and pursue Him less we be found in judgment.

Therefore whosoever hears these sayings of mine, and acts upon them,

may be compared to a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And

the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat

upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock. And

every one that hears these sayings of mine, and acts not upon them, will

be like a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand: And the rain

descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that

house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.

Matthew 7: 24-27

The vision of my battle with the Red Dragon

This vision, happened back in about 2002 or 2003. In it I came face to face with a large and exceedingly fierce Red Dragon which appeared to be a form of Satan.

Before I get into the dream I want to say this

First let me display some background info about it. At this time I was struggling with my greatest vice which was pornography. It was a transgression which dominated my life for many years since my youth. It got even worse as a teenager starting from age 13. What makes the 2002-2003 year significant was that it was a few years after I turned 18 and first came to Christ. It was at that time in May 30^th 2000 that I actually started fighting back and getting rid of pornography. Thus during 2002-2003 was when I started backsliding and losing to pornography again.

Now when you get a vision it isn't your typical dream. A vision can be a warning or a prophecy of something serious in your life. In the book of Genesis when the ruler of Egypt had dreams concerning the famine of his nation, Joseph realized that they should start storing up grain to combat the coming starvation of the land. Many times God will give us the wisdom to interpret these visions, just like He gave Joseph the power to interpret visions. The great thing about God is that He knows how to speak our own personal language. God knows what we can relate to and understand. He knows what shows most vividly to our senses. Which now leads me to the vision I had

The fight with the Red Dragon

He who has ears to hear, let him hear. The enemy of mankind, otherwise known as Satan, was depicted as a Great Red Dragon in the Holy Bible.

The vision I had began with me entering a great hall. The kind as which appears in Medieval castles or in legends and fairy tales. Beautiful large red drapes and curtains decorated the entire length and height of this gigantic hall. As I entered into it through two large doors, a multitude of spectators stood up cheered greatly for me. The air was full of applause and rooting. He who has ears to hear, let him hear. This multitude that was cheering for me was probably the angels of Heaven. The red drapes and curtains that covered the great hall was a representation of the blood of Jesus Christ. The blood of Jesus washes away all the sins of those who come unto Him. The angels, brothers of heaven, have been known to rejoice when people come to Christ. Me entering this hall was one big representation of me first coming to Christ and the rejoicing the angels had at me repenting and becoming a new man in Him.

I then approached a platform which had a ruler and several important guys standing around this figure. Once I bowed before this important person, this individual began to dub me---as someone would dub a knight. Several phrases this ruler said to me as I was being dubbed was from the Holy Bible. One of the phrases I strongly remember to this day was “put aside childish things”. Upon rising after the dub was over, armor bearers (angels) came over to suit me up. One gave me a sword that appeared to be a crusader's arming sword. Another bearer(angel) offered me armor. However what I said was extremely foolish and full of vain pride. I told him “real men don't need armor”. To this day I am surprised that I would say such a thing. Clearly in the match that I was about to face in the vision, I would wish I had a sheet of cardboard over me! He who has ears to hear, let him hear. The dubbing is a representation of taking in the wisdom from the commandments of the Bible. For the blessed man and the wise man meditates on the Lord's words day and night. The armor and weapons supplied to me in the dream by the armorers was the famous Armor of God---The Belt of Truth, the Helmet of Salvation, the Shield of Faith, the Sandals of Peace, the Breastplate of Righteousness, and the Sword of the Spirit God's Word.

“Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints”

Ephesians 6 10-18

When I left the great hall to do battle I entered into a long dark hallway. As the doors behind me closed shut, I got my sword ready for battle. The hallway was exceptionally large, spacious, dark and cold. As I approached two more large doors toward the end of the hallway, I heard battle already going on beyond the doors. Through the crack of the door I saw a couple knights dressed in armor about to jab at something. When I finally opened the door, I saw it... It was this giant Red Dragon doing battle with several knights. This hall where the Red Dragon resided was not like the first one I was in. This hall was of black stone. It was not as big and certainly not as beautiful as the previous red hall. The most peculiar thing about this black hall was that there was a banquet table stacked with food of all sorts---I'll tell you about what this means later.

This dragon was extremely feral, angry, forceful, large and intimidating---both physically and psychologically. I immediately knew that these knights fighting this beast were fellow Christians. To describe this beast I'll include some specific details; it was capable of making destruction equal to a tornado. It stood about 25 feet, but don't let the size deceive you; for it could move as agile as a cheetah. Be in back of this dragon and gain it's attention, in a blink of an eye it would have been able to turn its entire body around to be looking you dead in the face! Not only was it covered in red scales, but horns and spikes protruded all over it's body. Attacking it from the sides was almost as dangerous as attacking it face forward. And from the way this thing moved, a wisp from the sharp spikes of its side would either impale or or slice you. In terms of it's ferocity, brute force and intimidation, I advise you all to picture the T-Rex from the movie Jurassic Park......at full charge and anger! But then again a T-Rex is stupid. This dragon however, knew how to intimidate you. It could very well talk and it did when it taunted some of the knights in it's diabolic voice. Most of all when it roared or taunted you, the entire room would shake violently.

The dragon was making short work of my fellow Christian Knights. It would tear some in half while squashing and gutting the rest. Needless to say I was gravely sorry I didn't put on any armor to fight this thing. If it was winning against other warriors dressed armor, how long could I have lasted?

For a moment the dragon's attention was diverted to another knight, immediately I saw my opportunity to get a hit off of this thing. As it's head was exposed, I leaped up and struck the dragon across it's brow with full force. I WOUNDED IT! I can't believe I was able to get a hit off! Even though it's body was armored like a tank, the sword slashed it nonetheless. But then I realized that as I wounded this beast, I also ended up destroying some of the food on the long table in the hall---I'll tell you what that means as well later.

Finally I saw the situation as hopeless. The dragon finished off the last few Christian Knights and only I was left. I retreated back into the cold dark hallway. Yet what really broke my heart was what the dragon did to the wounded survivors. I peeked through the crack of the doors at what was going on. The knights who surrendered to the Red Dragon were turned into some sort of....I can only describe them as muddy stumps with faces. What made me grimace with disgust was what the Red Dragon told these former people turned stumps. He said “Since you have surrendered I will let you live another day or two”. Yet this is just what happens when people surrender to Satan or his evil world; we just live empty lives.

So there I stood walking in this long dark hallway. Demoralized, shaken and worst of all, my sword was bent up and dented. I had no armor and I knew I had to fight this thing again sooner or later. He who has ears to hear, let him hear. The dragon is obviously our enemy Satan. The food set on the long table in the great black hall was the temptations and sin of the enemy. Temptations such as drugs, drinking, fornications, occultism and in my case...pornography. When I struck the dragon I also struck this sin, or this food on the table. When we resist sin and temptation we deny Satan any sort of ground in our lives. We combat him and we beat him back. Those stumps with faces represent Christians who conformed back into the world and became as them. The long dark hallway I walked back into, represents moderation or lukewarmness in a Christians life. As followers of Christ we must not be moderate in our walk with Him. We must be on fire with Jesus Christ and taking up our cross daily to follow Him.

I advise everyone reading this to take on the full armor of God as listed above. To take up your cross and walk with Jesus everyday unless you end up beaten and demoralized like me in the dream. The devil/dragon may warded me off in the last vision, but this time I'm going to be ready for him. I will carry on and get stronger in the Lord. So when that time comes for me to meet it again. I will emerge the winner this time!

When you are all out of power, God hasn't even started yet

Seeing from personal experience and the testimony of others I know many of us get either discouraged or weary in battle while we journey with God. It's like some mornings we wake up in pain and spiritually torn while in Christ. We sometimes feel as if we can't go another step while sojourning with God. We feel like we are at the end of our spiritual endurance---the endurance that helps us feel for others, to resist sin, or do the Lord's work. It's like we feel at any minute we are about to fall back into the world or backslide into our old selves. Well my friends it is at this time that God hasn't even started yet.

God's endurance is eternal and never ceasing. When we are at the end of ours, God is just getting ready to begin. And as our Father in Heaven it is in His great pleasure to give to us. So as His children, let us ask of Him. So that day when you are feeling at the end of your strength to endure, ask of God that He give you strength to keep going. Plea to Him that He give you the power to persevere and stride onward and onward. I myself barely last one day before I feel like I'm about to backslide or can't go on. It is then I that I pray that the Lord give me strength to go on to do His will. Even Jesus Christ Himself, as He walked the earth, went up in the morning times to pray for strength from His Father.

We must never conform to this world or let our thoughts fall to it. We must keep our minds and actions in coordination to what Jesus Christ wants them to be like. We can do this by nurturing off of the Spirit of God and asking Him to fill us daily to do His will. So as the Lord stays in, it will help to block out all other wrong alternatives.

Dear Lord, search our hearts daily and purify ourselves to how You want us.

Let not our will be done in every day of our lives, but instead let Your flawless

will be done. Fill us daily with the Holy Spirit who gives us inner comfort and

let us sojourn on as you see fit. May we never backslide into our old selves

but rather reform us to perfection as the Lord Himself is perfect. Give us

strength from day to day to press on in our walk with You O' Lord for good.

In the name of the Son Jesus Christ, Amen.